Life in Lockdown: Amber Weeks

By Amber Weeks

What is life in lockdown to me? You would think that was a simple enough question to answer, wouldn’t you? But it’s not. Lockdown has been weird – there have been days where I have completely forgotten about it and then there have been days that I can’t seem to get it off my mind. I have been spending lockdown alone, as my flat mate went home to be with her family. So, it has been a little hard to not go crazy and start talking to my bedside lamp like it’s a person.

Lockdown has been strange; I don’t know what to do with myself now, but to be honest not much about my daily life has changed. I suffer badly from mental health and can go days, even weeks without leaving my house, but as I started to get better and forcing myself to leave my house regularly, this lockdown came into place. I feel all the work I’ve done has been wiped away and I am back to being trapped within these same walls and inside my head again.

But instead of allowing this time to let me go completely insane, and to avoid talking to the appliances in my house, I have been keeping myself occupied. I have been having regular dance parties around my room for exercise and, unfortunately for my new neighbours, have dug out the Wii and the Sing It games again. I have been singing as loudly as I can, again unfortunately for next door! I am very bad, but it helps to get out my frustrations. I even tried singing High School Musical duets on my own – I would say it didn’t end well.

I binged watched Netflix, played video games into the early hours of the morning and just wasted each day for the first two weeks of the lockdown. But after being trapped inside for twenty days I decided I needed to get some sort of order to my life. I started going to bed early and waking up early, getting dressed, doing housework and started to do my assignments for uni. I even decided to start a blog and be constructive with my days. Even deciding to get out of my pyjamas and get dressed is a debate everyday as it seems pointless, but I can now see the value in such a simple task.

These days are scary and confusing, but it is hard to really grasp the serenity of it all until someone you know is affected by it. When this first began my grandmother was rushed into hospital for a few days, but thankfully she was given the all clear and sent home. But it wasn’t long afterwards that I got a message from my dad – he had tested positive and wasn’t well. I felt my whole world stop and panic wash over me. At first, I just thought that the media was doing what it does best and making this sound more dramatic than it is. It wasn’t until it affected my family that I understood. Thankfully my dad is getting better and beating corona. With him living in Scotland I wouldn’t have been able to see him regardless of the lockdown or not. However, it’s been horrible to know that if any of my local friends and family got sick, I wouldn’t be able to visit them.

I understand these times are hard for everyone for different reasons, but I feel this is also a time that people can join together with support for eachother, and grow. I personally am using this time to expand and grow with my creative writing and focus on uni, without the normal distractions. These times are hard, so to answer, ‘What is lockdown to me?’, isn’t simple. It’s a struggle every day to not allow loneliness to overtake me and let my depression set in but I also am using this time to be positive and work on myself as a person. I believe everyone should be grateful to each other for accepting and following the lockdown to keep each other’s families safe.

2 comments

  • Absolutely fantastic Amber very well done you’re doing great!!! Xxxxxx

    Like

  • Amber-Rose I know how important this is and I applaud you fighting your own demons and then dealing with not only your dad contracting this vile illness but your cousin too you are an amazing beautiful person I’m so proud of you xx

    Like

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